This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I love Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar from That Mitchell and Webb Look. It's utterly absurd, darkly humorous, and poignantly tragic. And it pokes fun at BBC. Don't get me wrong, I love BBC costume dramas, love the Sherlock Holmes stories, etc. But that doesn't mean I can't laugh at them.
This is my collection of favorite quotes from each Sir Digby episode.
Episode 1 quotes
"On a lonely planet spinning its way to damnation amid the fear and despair of a broken human race, who is there to fight for all that is good and pure and gets you smashed for under a fiver? Yes, it's the surprising adventures of me, Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar."
When a coin is tossed at him... "At last! My grant from the foreign office. Now we'll finally crack this mystery."
"The story so far: As usual, Ginger and I are engaged in our quest to find out what the hell is going on and save humanity from my nemesis, some bastard who is presumably responsible."
On being caught by police "...One of my nemesis's henchmen, wearing a cunning disguise, tries to foil our plan."
While bumming a cigarette... "I'm indebted to you, madam. Write to my club for full remuneration."
After Ginger has spent a night in jail... "Forgive me, you must be tired. Have a sip from my can."
Episode 2 quotes
"It's been very fine to see you, Great Aunt Marigold."
"In a city gripped by fear and greed, on streets greased with blood and tears, who is there to look out for the little guy and see if he's got any money on him? Yes, it's the surprising adventures of me, Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar."
"The story so far: I've successfully couriered the top secret machinery back to its rightful owners at the heart of government... But now my thoughts inevitably return to my trusty companion Ginger, who is not so lucky at the hands of our pursuers."
"It's going to be an Easter weekend to remember!"
Episode 3 quotes
"In a time future historians will one day call 'the past,' in a place I wish I could name but it's been a confusing week, who is there to look out for the man in the street in case he wants his mobile back? Yes, it's the surprising adventures of me, Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar."
"The story so far: In my continuing quest to find out just who is behind it all, and by 'all' I do mean ALL, Ginger and I have been invited to an evening at Her Majesty's pleasure, but we can't get there because we're in prison."
Episode 4 quotes
"Look Ginger, my nemesis has left a calling card -- a single monogrammed glove. Pick it up, Ginger! Look Ginger, my nemesis has left another calling card -- a single monogrammed panty liner. Pick it up, Ginger! ... Look Ginger! My nemesis has left another calling card ... there on that fat man's wrist. Quick pick it up before the police bungle onto the scene and contaminate the evidence."
"Excellent use of the monogrammed pantyliner!"
"We must make good our escape, Ginger! I'll drive."
Sir Digby: "I believe we are looking for menstruating child who is waterproof to a depth of fifty meters. Where can he be hiding in such a fiendish disguish?"
Ginger: "I smell sausage rolls."
Sir Digby: "You mean, something fishy?"
Ginger: "No, I -- I smell sausage rolls."
Sir Digby: "You mean, you detect the dread hand of my nemesis's arch-rival, Viscount Von Sausage Roll?"
Ginger: "No, I can smell sausage rolls!!!"
Sir Digby: "Fucking what?"
Ginger: "I can smell sausage rolls."
Sir Digby: "Stop saying that, Ginger!" (sniffs) "Can you smell sausage rolls?"
Ginger: "Sometimes."
Sir Digby: "Gadzooks! He must be hiding amongst these cake-eating dwarfs."
"How did my nemesis shrink himself? When will Ginger find a better method for discovering waterproof dwarfs? Why don't kids parties have real booze any more, like they did when I was a dwarf? Find out in the next enthralling installment of the surprising adventures of Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar."
Episode 5 quotes
"We're not having sex!"
"In a country lacerated by the sharp shards of broken brown-eyed promises, in a world bent low by the burden of disease and war and the price of thunderbird, who is left to make a full account to god of Britain's depleted moral minibar? Yes, it's the surprising adventures of me, Sir Digby Chicken Caesar!"
"This bears all the hallmarks of ... the Countess!"
"Ginger, beat the crap out of her!"
Episode 7 quotes
"Quick, get the copper out of the walls!"
"In a society whose toothy fake smile is ravaged by the plaque of debt and the vodka burp of sub-prime mortgages, who will floss into the darkest cavities of our despair, and see if there are any gold fillings you can swap for a can of peppermint-flavored antifreeze? Yes, it the surprising adventures of me, Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar."
"Excellent work, Ginger. You've infiltrated my nemesis's lair."
"In a world where it's important to know who your friends are, rather than who your daughter is, who will prise open the fist of international conspiracy and see if it's got a 2p in it? Find out next week in the surprising adventures of Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar."
"Keep up, Ginger, you little turd!"
Red Nose Day episode quotes
"Would a mustache on a stick help?"
"Lady Annabelle... has the skin of a lovely angel's bottom."
"Christ's whiskers, Ginger! It's Sir Rupert Dubair, and his man, Badger."
Ginger: "Robots, sir!"
Digby: "Metal bastards! Run the other way!"
