Sunday, January 13, 2008

Montessori vs. Home School UPDATED

I home schooled my oldest daughter, Tara, through second grade, but we placed her in a private Montessori school for third grade in August. I continue to have my 3-year-old daughter, Amber, at home with me (meaning, she does not attend pre-school or daycare, though the Montessori school would accept her). I also work from home.

Several people have asked me about the differences between Montessori and home schooling; why we decided to put Tara into Montessori school; and why we decided to return to home schooling again at the end of this 2007-2008 school year.

First, I think I should talk about why we chose to home school in the first place. The short answer is: because public schools suck. However, if you want the long answer:

* We want our children to be able to experience more than they would in public school. In addition to the basics (reading, writing, math), we explore science, economics, computers, yoga, art, history, languages, psychology, world cultures, mythology, poetry, sports, music, dance, logic, politics, archeology, sociology, and more.

* We want them to learn by doing, living, talking, researching, and interacting, and to be able to pursue whatever knowledge interests them, instead of just sitting there receiving whatever the teacher or textbook decides to tell them.

* They are not animals. They don't need to be trained to follow ringing bells, or beg to go to the bathroom, or be generally treated like inmates.

* We want our children to be able to meet and interact with people of ALL ages and backgrounds, not just the same 30 children of the same age and from the same neighborhood every day.

* While we are not Christians, we do want our children to know about all religions and holidays. In public school, religious expression, discussion and celebration is forbidden, (or, in the case of the bible-belt area where we live, one-sided).

* Our children are very bright. Children with high intelligence have special needs. Public schools in our area are not equipped to deal with these types of children.

Other reasons we chose a non-traditional method of education include: the inefficient waste of time in public schools; our belief in the importance of family bonds and activities; the negative social environment of public schools; and several points of disagreement with "traditional" teaching methods.

So, why did we put Tara in a Montessori school? The short answer here is that Tara is a very difficult and demanding child. The "terrible twos" came on when she was only 10 months old, and didn't go away until ... ummmm... yesterday. Mommy needed a break.

We also felt that Amber would benefit greatly, at this point in her development, from having mommy all to herself for a few hours a day.

And Tara was becoming aware of the fact that most other children in our society go to public school, and that school is (according to children's television shows) a magical place of talking dinosaurs, dancing blue dogs, shiny happy people, and playing all day long. She kept asking questions about school, and was curious what it would be like.

There was no way in hell-o operator that we were going to put her in public school, so we began investigating private schools. I'd read quite a bit about the Montessori method five years ago, when I began Tara's pre-school education, and was already using some of the ideas and techniques.

For some humor on this topic, check out "Something Weird Going On In That Montessori School, Neighbor Reports" from The Onion spoof newspaper.

From wikipedia.org: "The (Montessori) method is characterized by an emphasis on self-directed activity on the part of the child ... It stresses the importance of adapting the child's learning environment to his developmental level, and of the role of physical activity in absorbing academic concepts and practical skills."

After four months with the Montessori school, here are some of the differences I've noted between Montessori and public school.

Montessori classrooms do not have assigned seating, and there are only a few desks. Children work on the floor, or at various tables. The classroom is full of accessible plants, animals, learning tools, folders, worksheets, books, and other materials. There is also a kitchen and bathroom in Tara's classroom.

Our Montessori school is much smaller than most public schools. Students range in age from 3 to 15. Administrators get to know all of the students. Teachers and administrators are available via phone and email all the time. Parents can request conferences at any time. Tara's class takes at least two field trips a month. The school is very flexible, and does not classify any absence as "unexcused."

Family obligations are always considered more important than anything else. Parents are actively involved in the school and classroom. Students are not given much homework, only about 20-30 minutes a night, and that includes 15 minutes of reading from any book of their choice. They never receive homework over the weekends or holidays.

Here's a little story that illustrates another difference. We went to dinner last night with a family whose daughter attends public school. The mom asked Tara, "So, do you like your teacher?" And Tara responded, "Which one? We have four classroom teachers, plus a Spanish teacher, art teacher, drama teacher, yoga teacher, gymnastics teacher, PE teacher, and music teacher." And that's all for a classroom of just 26 students.

Another big difference, one which we like very much, is the lack of grading and testing. Students are given workbooks and assignments appropriate to their needs (there are several different ages and achievement levels within Tara's class). But students are not expected to work on the same thing at the same time, or to complete assignments within the same time-frame. And if they do something incorrectly, they are helped until they can do it correctly, not just handed back a paper marked "C" and then moved on to the next assignment.

Children are also not separated strictly by age or ability. Tara is in what's called "lower elementary" and there are children ages 6-9 in her class. Older students help tutor and mentor younger students. Students, even at this age, are expected to be responsible for their education, and are taught organizational, time management and self-discipline skills.

"Although there are many schools which use the name 'Montessori,' the word itself is not recognized as a trademark, nor is it associated with a single specific organization. Thus it is legally possible to use the term 'Montessori' without necessary adherence to a particular training or teaching method." Which is probably why I've heard people accuse "Montessori" public schools of not actually following all - or even most - of the Montessori method.

Now, about that topic which is thrown in the face of every home-schooling family: socialization.

Tara never comes home in tears because anyone is making fun of her. She does not generally talk about things like popularity, clothes, or bullies. She comes home with things like a necklace someone made her to apologize for treating her poorly on the playground. Or stories about someone hurting someone else's feelings and how they all talked it out. I have tried asking questions such as, "Do kids ever make fun of you, or each other?" "Who is the most popular person in class?" etc. These questions don't seem to relate to her experiences.

The Montessori school promotes the attitude that the entire class is a team. They are expected to help each other, work together, to forgive, and to accept each others' differences. Much emphasis is placed on conflict resolution and creating a safe environment, emotionally and physically. They use such techniques as the Peace Rose to work out problems between students. Feelings are not ignored or belittled, no one is expected to put up with bullies or to just ignore a problem until it goes away. Compliments are encouraged, teasing not tolerated.

Children are taught to shake hands, make eye contact, clean up after themselves, tidy up their classrooms and playgrounds, be polite, and other manners which are often lacking in "socialized" public school students.

Diversity is also embraced at the Montessori school. Children are allowed to dress any way they want to, and I've seen several students (and parents) with colored hair. Children wear clothing styles of all kinds. Families are invited to share all of their cultural and religious practices with the school. For instance, recently an email went out to all of the parents asking if they wanted to share their holiday traditions in the classroom - whether that be Christmas, Hanukkah, Diwali, Ramadan, Winter Solstice, Kwanzaa, or whatever.

All of that said, however, I'm not saying things are perfect. She is starting to struggle a little with feeling awkward, sad, shy, and insecure, and the dark part of "socialization" -- the realization that some people can't be trusted, some people aren't nice, some people can be lying and manipulative, and there's some things you just can't fix no matter how hard you try. But these have all been good lessons for her to learn.

So why are we going back to home schooling? One of the main reasons is because Tara requested it. Science is her favorite subject, but one which is not pursued to her satisfaction in the Montessori school. She misses the variety of educational topics and experiences she had while home schooling. Tara recently told us that she also wants to home school again because it gives her more time to think. The noise and constant distractions during lessons are bothering Tara. She said last night, "You know, mom, after being at that school for several weeks now, I've realized that most of the other kids don't care at all about learning anything."

I think Montessori has been, overall, a good experience for Tara, but I don't feel that she's able to work up to her full academic or creative potential. Our Montessori school has done very well with the basic academics** and some of the extracurriculars (such as Spanish, art and music) but it still has its limitations. And I lean toward the unschooling philosophy enough to keenly feel them.

I hope this has explained our experiences with Montessori. I have taken for granted that my audience has an intimate understanding of home schooling. If not, I highly recommend further online research. If you have any questions about our particular experiences with Montessori vs. Home School, I'd be happy to answer them.

** UPDATE MAY 2008: Tara recently finished mandatory standardized testing and did very well.

** UPDATE OCT 2018: Tara is now attending college. She's doing great.

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